luni, 29 noiembrie 2010

To change or not to change?

Charles Dickens said in his novel “Great expectations” that “we are what we are, people don’t change!” WHAT we are and not WHO we are is defined by our DNA. So, was Dickens talking about DNA (the “WHAT”), or about our way of behaving (the “WHO”)? Back in his days he may have been talking about DNA, but today even that can be altered with. Today we have the possibility to change everything about ourselves: emotion, memories and feelings.


But, when it comes to relationships, how much are we willing to alter ourselves?


Is it a must in a relationship to change him / her, or is it best to accept the other for what and who they really are? Why is it that we try to change the person standing next to us? Is it a worldwide conception that when we find something good we feel the urge to change it into something perfect? We are definitely not perfect. Nobody is! So why do we seek perfection? In reality, we don’t even know how perfection looks like.


I find it normal in a relationship to make compromises, but is compromising a way of changing? Do we, in reality, change ourselves every time we make a compromise, and if we do…how far are we willing to go? How much of our integrity, our convictions and our ideals are we going to let go for the one standing next to us?


Is it a mistake to let someone in so much that they end up changing us?


I know that people who passed through my life changed me. I know they changed me sometimes for better and sometimes for worst. And now I wonder if I am willing to let anyone else to change me, after going through a previous number of changes.


Have you ever changed somebody, or have you let them change you?

Un comentariu:

  1. La multi ani de ziua romanilor!

    On topic: toata lumea se schimba, iar Dickens e un dick. E un bun scriitor si un rafinat observator al lumii din timpul lui. Insa un ochi patrunzator si o minte patrata nu l-a ridicat la rangul de om de stiinta. In concluzie, de-a lungul vietii oamenii se schimba de N ori, in functie de experientele pe care le incearca, influentele din juru-le (aici intra si somebody who's changing you), personalitate, compromisuri si dorinta de integrare si acceptare in alte grupuri sociale.
    Nu exista oameni doar buni sau doar rai, cum nu exista oameni doar onesti sau doar parsivi, insa una din caracteristici poate domina. Cu toate astea, oamenii isi pot controla actiunile si doleantele, astfel ca, indiferent cat de meschini vom fi la un moment dat, vom putea relationa cu ceilalti in termeni de prietenie sau iubire fara nici un fel de problema.
    Da, ceilalti ne schimba, saptamanal interiorizam noi atitudini, tolerante sau cunostinte care ne schimba, poate nu imediat, insa in timp si prin actiunea comuna a mai multor factori externi.

    :)

    RăspundețiȘtergere

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